In the early days of our romantic relationships we can feel completely engulfed in the feelings of connectivity and intimacy. Our time together involves touching, kissing and apprecitating each other physically as we get to know each other better. However, as we get deeper into these relationships and the honeymoon period fades into a new zone, our focus moves to a more practical approach where roles start to form and a routine is established. If we are not careful we can find ourselves living as rolemates rather than soulmates!
Reflection on the loss of intimacy is often present when working with couples. It is not always clear when or why this element has disappeared from the relationship, but it is a common complaint and quickly gets replaced with resentment and disatisfaction. If left it can become what feels like an unsolveable rupture to a once very lovingly connected couple.
Understanding the elements of your relationship that form the foundation of your connection can be empowering and allow you to overcome the fractures that day to day life can create. The core of most relationship issues is communication, but when you don't feel connected improving communication can be challenging. For me one of the most under estimated elements of connection is the power of touch. A hand hold, a hug, a supportive touch on the arm can bring comfort and support without the use of words. Learning to intergrate non sexual touch back into your relationship can formulate an anchor for your connection. Making time each day to give each other a hug or hold hands will produce the feel-good hormone 'Oxytocin'. This chemical release leaves us with feeling warm and bonded. If you can re-introduce affectionate touch you will find that communication feels more approachable.
Understanding the elements of your relationship that form the foundation of connection can be empowering and allow you to overcome the fractures that day to day life can create. The core of most relationship issues is communication, but when you don't feel connected improving communication can be challenging. For me one of the most under estimated elements of connection is the power of touch. A hand hold, a hug, or a supportive touch on the arm can bring comfort and support without the use of words. Learning to intergrate non sexual touch back into your relationship can formulate an anchor for your connection. Making time each day to give each other a hug or hold hands will produce the feel-good hormone 'Oxytocin'. This chemical release leaves us feeling warm and bonded. If you can re-introduce affectionate touch you will find that communication feels more approachable. Adjusting your thoughts around touch being a gateway to sexual contact and seeing its value in re-establishing trust will anchor your relationship in the same way a boat drops it anchor to dock. Your connection will become consistant and the foundation that binds you in facing lifes challenges together. From this new platform you will flourish as a couple rather than function in roles that leave you feeling lonely and unsatisfied.